encouragement

What's on Her Mind?​

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• Fear and Uncertainty related to financial status after divorce

• Lack of Clarity related to how long the process will take to complete

• Disbelief that this is actually happening to her and her family

• Feelings of Betrayal by her partner and a lack of trust of all things

• Search for understanding as to why God is putting her through such a difficult situation

• Concern that some of her mutually shared friends may side with her soon to be ex-husband

• Uncertainty related to the prospect of dating someone again

• Concern about how her kids will deal with the divorce

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Things NOT to Say.... 

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• "What do you need?"  Consider Saying..."I can think of three areas, which would be most helpful..."

• What can I do to help?  Consider Saying..."I can stop by next week..."

• What are your next steps?  Consider Saying..."When one door is closing, another door is opening"

• How long will the process take? Consider Saying..."Does your lawyer have a time estimate?"

• Have you found a lawyer yet? Consider Saying..."When do you need to consider getting counsel?"

• Are you going to ask to for alimony?  Consider Saying..."Do you have someone to discuss finances?

• What are you going to do about the kids?  Consider Saying..."You and your kids should be a big priority"

• When will the divorce be finalized?  Consider Saying..."Take it one day at a time, use your time wisely"

• Did he cheat on you?  Consider Saying..."Has he kept his commitment to the marriage"

• Did you see this coming  Consider Saying..."Has he kept his commitment to the marriage"

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GOOD THINGS to Say... 

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• “To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person,” writes Jocelyn Soriano in Mend my Broken Heart. “It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment.”

• I’m so sorry to hear that.

• “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” – Alexander Graham Bell.

• Whatever you’re feeling, good, bad or indifferent is your choice, and yours alone

• Do you have people you can talk to everyday?  I am happy to be one of your sounding boards

• Ask about how he or she is dealing with work while going through this transition

• I love you. God loves you.

• I’m praying for you and your marriage

• I believe in you

• It won’t always be like this

• When can you make it out for dinner next month

• "You know I have your back." 

• "You're not a bad person - this is just a hard situation." 

 

SCHEDULE ENCOURAGEMENT Activities for Delivery... 

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KEY THEMES:  Letting go, healing, recovery, hope, lasting friendship and love, peace of mind

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• WORDS & PHRASES:  Text or Email  Quote Difference between giving up and had enough - PINTEREST 

• WORDS & PHRASES:  Text or Email a Quote on new beginnings  - PINTEREST  

• WORDS & PHRASES:  Text or Email Bring out the best in you - PINTEREST 

• WORDS & PHRASES:  Text or Email Success is not final - Churchill - PINTEREST 

• AUDIO & VIDEO:   Video on how to heal after a Divorce "What Now Moments" - YOU TUBE

• AUDIO & VIDEO:   How to move on after Divorce Dr. Phil - YOU TUBE

• AUDIO & VIDEO:  Redemption breakup song mix - ITUNES

• GIFTS & GOODWILL:  Gift card to Starbucks coffee or favorite coffee house - STARBUCKS

• GIFTS & GOODWILL:  Fleece or micro fiber blanket in her favorite color- AMAZON

• GIFTS & GOODWILL:  Running Shoes in her favorite brand and color (note about staying healthy) - AMAZON

• GIFTS & GOODWILL:  Full length bed pillow to replace spouse in bed  - AMAZON

• GIFTS & GOODWILL:  friendship necklace (reinforce your friendship)  - AMAZON

• GIFTS & GOODWILL:   Universal gym pass in city of origin  - CLASS PASS

• EVENTS & EXPERIENCES:  Gift certificate to take a break from everything massage- MASSAGE ENVY

• EVENTS & EXPERIENCES:  Tickets for a concert or Movie- TICKET MASTER

• EVENTS & EXPERIENCES:  Day Spa Experience - SPA FINDER

• EVENTS & EXPERIENCES:  Tickets for a concert - TICKET MASTER

• EVENTS & EXPERIENCES:  Manicure & Pedicure - MANI PEDI

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